*** Sexy week- FINALLY!***
Today was a holiday in Colombia so there was so work. So my sexy friend Juan came to the city last night (wrote about it last week) so we could spend the day together today. What a fun day. I mean seriously! Sleeping with him was better than last time. (I sleep terrible with another person, especially at the beginning… and this was only our second time sleeping together.) But we had a fun day! We lazed around in the morning, drinking our coffee, listening to music, talking. I made us breakfast.
We kept saying we’re going to to the museum and walk around the park, but we kept just snuggling on the couch, talking, laughing. You know one of those fun days. When we finally decided ok let’s go, we decided not to! LOL He reminded me that I had said I would cook him dinner. So we ended up going to the market, updated my phone data, and got all the stuff I needed to make us lasagna!
He was sweet and funny. At one point we were joking about me being almost his height, and he was teasing me about making myself shorter. I told him, “No. I used to make myself smaller for men, less than, and I won’t do it anymore!” He looked at me for a minute. Got all serious. He pulled me to him, held my face in his hands, and said, “All I ever want from you is to be great. To be you. To get bigger and better.” Then he kissed my face. I mean COME ON! He is so dang sweet and very sexy.
We went home, smoked a bunch of weed with my flatmate. I made dinner. We drank wine. So much wine. I got some super cute selfies of us together looking sexy! After dinner, we ran into my room for one last sexy time before he had to leave to go to the bus to go home. FUN TIMES! He talks so much shit, all romantic and sweet and mushy and lovey. “My love, my life, my life, my sweetie, darling, my baby…” It can be a bit addictive. I sure enjoy the fun-loving attention.
I got a pretty big work assignment today so most of the day was spent figuring it out and getting situated and started. This is pretty much how the rest of my week went. Not very exciting.
Still, get my happy sweet good morning message from Juan. Today I had so many happy thoughts and feels about him. Like- this is going to be fun. I can do the next three months with him and enjoy his companionship. I am even thinking that if he is the only guy I see for the next three months, I could be ok with that. I mean I won’t give up my partners in Germany or anything but, I am content right now with just seeing him. It’s all this NRE (new relationship energy) going on so hard here!
Some quick texts to Benjamin, but he hasn’t even looked at his messages. Hopefully, he’ll get around to seeing them soon.
More work… More digging on Juan. Though today there was a blip. I can’t explain how or why, but I was cruising Facebook and I saw a photo of him. It’s one he sent me before, and it’s his profile pic on WhatsApp, but something hit me very uncomfortably in the gut. Then I saw some pics of his trip to Parque Arvi on Sunday before he met me, and they were lovely. Looked like he had a nice time, but again, I just got a weird feeling. No good reason, so I just noted the feelings and moved on.
But later that day it was still kind of bothering me when I saw that he had updated his Tinder photo during the week while I was gone in Costa Rica. I mean we’ve only had two dates (of course they were both long overnight and full day dates, but still…) and we haven’t made any kind of agreements about our relationship other than all the things he told me on Sunday night about how much he likes me and why.
Anyway, we still enjoyed our usual chatting in the evening when he got home from work. But also I told two of my friends about my weird gut feeling. Sometimes I find it helps to tell other people because they can help you be accountable to those feelings if it ever comes to that.
Yep- still working on this big crazy project for work, so the couch and I were pretty glued together all day. But here’s the big deal of the week- talking to Juan in the evening like we usually do, was eye-opening!
He told me he couldn’t see me over the weekend because he just didn’t have the money. I knew he is saving to get his motorcycle back on the road. Of course, I was sad that he wasn’t going to be able to see me, but it was only like 10 minutes later that he was asking ME to pay for it, “for us.” You know, because if the motorcycle was on the road, he could see me more, we could do all these cool weekend trips (if he didn’t have the money for the Moto, who was paying for these trips?) He just thinks I am so awesome and special and he really wants to be able to see me and today he is sooo sad knowing that he cannot see me this weekend, but if he had the money for the moto, he could see me for sure this weekend, wouldn’t that be great!
I mean, this all went down in a far more complex way, of course. Some of it was more subtle. (Well ok maybe not that subtle…) But it was confusing too. Like what? So I sent the messages to my friend who is from here. Now normally I would not do that, share exact info from a conversation with a “significant other,” but I needed to be sure I understood the language as well as the cultural context. She assured me I was understanding exactly what was going on and then she added that he is a “manipulator” and “jerk” and I should stop talking to him right then.
I didn’t. I let him have enough rope to hang himself. He did that when he said I could hold his cell phone as collateral to be sure he would pay me back. (His cell phone is crap by the way.) He kept saying stuff about the money over and over. Finally, I just said, I need to think about this, can we talk more about it tomorrow? I already knew I was not going to give him any money, but I was kind of in shock. I mean I know how guys are here and I know all the lovey doves stuff is all part of it, but good lord I was loving it and I was loving him and this was very disappointing.
The next day he sent me the usual “Good Morning Bonita” and off he went to work. I knew I had all day to craft a response since he isn’t on his phone until he gets out of work in the evening. I rehashed it all with my friend and she strongly suggested I just drop him. I knew I would but also, aw man! Anyway, I told him that I was not going to pay for the moto. When he got home he listened to the messages and as we predicted he, A- cajoled and tried to tell me I misunderstood. He told me how much he likes me, how he was so hurt that I would think this of him. B- then he got mad. He kept telling me he didn’t need anything from me. He has money saved, he just was telling me his situation. He never asked me for money. Typical gaslighting.
That was so hard to accept. So hard to believe that after all that fun and the things I had been enjoying with him were really just a game to get me to pay for things. You may think I am jumping to conclusions, or that I shouldn’t think poorly of him, but this is sometimes a “thing” here. Rich gringas, hot guys who need things. It can be symbiotic or it can be parasitic. This yelling at me and telling me that he NEVER asked me for anything, (I have the voice recordings, he most certainly did.) were just lies now and confirmed that I wasn’t wrong.
Eventually, I simply told him that I was sorry this had worked out this way. I had enjoyed his company very much and thanks for that. I haven’t heard from him since. But I have been totally obsessing. Thinking, did I accuse him for nothing? Did I misunderstand him? God, he was so cute and sweet, could I have been too hard on him? Yes, he did a good job at that gaslighting. (I WILL be writing a post about this.) So… this is the big story of my week… well, maybe not the only one! (Keep reading!) LOL
Another long ass work day- I mean I even worked until 11pm. Hungover and with a headache ALL day that moved into migraine territory in the evening. (Yes, I drank a lot of wine after my conversation with Juan.) So Friday was basically a wash. Rehashing the whole thing with my friends and telling my roommate about it. UGH!
More work! Are you tired of hearing that yet? I am tired of writing it! LOL I thought I might have a date in the afternoon so I was happy to get my work done and get dressed to leave the house for the first time since Monday. (Yes, no grass grows under MY feet!) BUT my date canceled. I got my butt out of the house anyway! YAY ME!
I took myself to a nice brunch. It was better when it was advertised, it was only OK in person. I was hoping this was going to be better. But I did have Mimosas! YAY! After that, I walked to a nice coffee shop that was supposed be one of the cool ones in town, but again I was a little disappointed, but I did finish my blog post about my relationship with Benjamin and solo-poly. YAY!
It was a lovely way to spend the afternoon even if the food and the coffee were only mediocre. I came home to an empty house. My flatmate was off on an adventure and I got to have some nice alone time. I finished the post and went out to meet some friends for a few beers at a new bar that opened up only like a 5-minute walk from my place. Super nice evening. Lovely to be with friends!
OMG! So since Thursday night with the whole Juan debacle, I got back on Tinder. THANK. THE. UNIVERSE! I thought I had two dates today! LOL AND a massage in the middle. But the only part of that to work out was the massage! Except, this really hot guy- Let’s call him “A,” and I had been chatting yesterday. We started again this morning, flirty, sexy, texting.
Normally, I would not flirt quite so blatantly sexy with someone I haven’t met yet. I don’t usually exchange any kinds of sexy photos with someone I haven’t met either. I definitely don’t let them into my writing world, but I even sent him links to my blogs. There was something about this guy. Some kind of connection that I could feel pulling from under all the fairy words. And also, dude, I really think he is HOT and wanted to have sex with him!
Eventually, talk turned to plans, and I invited him over. We clearly knew what the “plan” was. I enjoyed my solo morning, reading, drinking my coffee, laying on the couch reading a book, smoked some weed… And then he got here.
What an amazing smile! He is super smart too. I love being able to tap into a brain and who a person really is so quickly. I love meeting someone I can so quickly enjoy their company like this. I don’t always have these kinds of sparks and connections, but this one felt good right away. I felt very comfortable with him immediately.
Before he kissed me, he asked if he could. Good Lord those lips! Before he touched me, he asked if he could. This kind of consent was so sexy! It wasn’t long before we were in my room and playing and HOLY JESUS! I needed to be fucked like that. Exactly like that. Somehow he knew. It was so great and wow wow. Did I mention his long lean muscular inked body?
Afterward, we lay there, side by side. I loved running my hands slowly all over his body as we discussed sex, non-monogamy, cultural differences, masculinity, creating our own lives, lessons learned. See! This is the kind of connection we all want to have! And here he was in MY bed! YES YA’LL!!
Too soon he had to leave. I enjoyed the rest of my day, relaxing, thinking about writing. Thinking about him. Pretty sure I masturbated at least three more times that day thinking about him and the possibilities. We texted a few times in the afternoon. I definitely get the good kind of follow up vibe. I feel like there is a very good chance I’ll see him again. He’s only here for a short time and he’s visiting friends and family, so I am honored that he might choose to spend some of that precious time with me. I sure hope he does. Fingers Crossed.
- 2 awesome and very different dates
- 1 spectacular flameout from the first date
- 1 nice if mediocre brunch
- 1 blog post that’s not the review, finally
- 2 nights home alone
- 1 night out with friends
This has been a really weird time of transition for me. From Berlin to the UK and Ireland, then here… it was so much harder than I imagined. Going to Costa Rica the week before last really helped change the trajectory for me a bit. I didn’t leave the house enough, but I felt better overall and this weekend was great.
The time I spent home on Sunday was not because I was sad or lonely, but it was time I enjoyed intentionally alone. Time for me. I felt very happy and peaceful, and of course meeting “A,” was like the most delicious icing on the cake!
Here is a sexy story for you, in case you want to read something sexy and not just my week. (Even though this WAS a sexy week!)
Check out the awesome stories posted this week on Wicked Wednesday!