***I am seriously trying to decide what to do about these weekly reviews. Not sure they serve any real good purpose except a journal for myself, but until I make a decision here we go!****
As usual, Mondays are work and not really leave the house days. The highlight of my day was the chance to text a bit with Stefan. (We don’t text often, every 10 days or so.) He’s still working on his new house and settling into his new life (not so different from me, really.) I asked him how he was doing, was he happy? Was he good? I was glad that his response was, “Yes so far, still adjusting.”
It gave me a chance to tell him how glad I am that I’m so far away while he’s making this change. I would be devastated if he started living with his other girlfriend and not coming to Berlin anymore while I was still in Berlin and therefore unable to see him the way we always have. I told him how much I still miss our Thursday nights. (I MISS THEM SO MUCH!) His response was, “Me too. Much!”
I read that and started to cry. He and I don’t really talk about our relationship, we prefer to just let it work itself out and this has always worked for us. I don’t remember him ever really saying he misses me. But today, being so far away and not having the chance to talk with him much… those three little words totally meant so much to me.
After working during the day, I forced myself to get out of the house and go to a meetup. The event was in held at a very cool Gastro Pub Brewery by a local expat group- Medellin Guru. There were a lot of gringos there, the majority of them much older than me (and I am not a spring chicken.) I started chatting with one nice guy who told his roommate, she should chat with me when she came in and she and I hit it off immediately. She is a journalist from Venezuela. We talked about blogging, writing, relationships, love, polyamory… all within about 30-45 minutes. I am looking forward to meeting up with her for a coffee or vino again soon.
Before too long these three gringo guys came up to us and started chatting. They pulled up the chairs and sat down and settled in. They never asked if they could, they never really introduced themselves, they just assumed it was ok. Now I was there to meet people, so I didn’t say too much, but I could tell they were totally hitting on my new friend and I was a bit put out. I rolled my eyes and tried to get her attention, but before I could, she was out of there! I grabbed her WhatsApp and texted her when she was on her way out, “OMG! These guys are asses!” She responded, “I thought they were your friends so I didn’t want to start any trouble!”
OY! I wish she had. I had already ordered another drink and some food, so I was sort of stuck with them. They were occasionally funny, but mostly they were just big jerks. Bragging about their prowess in picking up local girls. Debating if they should or should not pay for dates with these ladies and which one of them did better with which strategy. They also tried to show off about all of their travel prowess, freedom to work from anywhere occasionally, and that they were learning Spanish.
THEY PICKED THE WRONG WOMAN. I guarantee you I make more money than any of them, I’ve been to more than 45 countries the past 4 years, I have been fluent in Spanish for 20+ years, I travel full time, and have only one suitcase of material belongings. Do NOT brag to me about your $400,000 McMansion in Dallas either. I DO NOT CARE.
At one point I said, I blog about sex and relationships and I need all of your names so I can interview you about what not to do on my blog. Their response was, “OK COOL” and “I knew it, I could tell you we’re a sex blogger.” Huh? What exactly does a sex blogger look like my fucked up friend?
Finally, I finished my food and two additional drinks trying to be polite and hang in there, but I gave up. I stood up, hit my hands on the table and said, “I feel like if I stay here, it means I condone this conversation and your behavior, and I most certainly do not. You guys are assholes!” And I walked away, got my check and went home!
DANG that was painful! I haven’t met guys that clueless or ridiculous in a very long time. Made me realize how lucky I have been!
Wednesday was a rainy dark cloudy and stormy day. So it was another work inside kind of day. But that evening was nice, I had a chance to chit chat on text and voice message with my sweet Juan. (My Medellin sweetie.) We talk every day and he sends me messages every morning when he leaves for work, before I wake up. It’s quite sweet. So tonight somehow we ended talking about our relationship and what we were going to do with it.
I’m telling you these Latin guys are fast to have feelings and talk about them too. I never feel like I have to moderate my feelings or what I say, so that the guy doesn’t “get scared off” or worry that because I have some feelings I have “too many” feelings. I feel like I am not saying that right but that many of you will understand!
Anyway, with Juan, I was responding back with the sweet words he was using too. Eventually, he asked me, so wy the sweet words? What are we going to do? You are poly and you are leaving, so what does that look like for us. It was an interesting conversation to have only a few days after we had just met and had our first date and sex. But I appreciated it too.
We went back and forth a bit and it is sometimes difficult for me to understand what he was saying, because he doesn’t type he uses the voice feature in WhatsApp so I have to listen and as questions rathe than rely on my translator when I am unsure. But we made it work.
In the end, the short amount of time I will be in the city was more of a concern than the poly, (In some ways it negates it as a concern.) He understands that I am only going to be there until the end of August. Any relationship we have, will either transition to a long distance relationship or end at that time. I basically left it up to him, as I am more used to transient and long distance relationships. More willing to have them because of the life I have chosen. I am capable of fully loving and enjoying a relationship within the confines of the time frame available to me. Not everyone is willing or able to do this.
He decided he was. He decided he preferred to spend the time with me now and we’ll deal with the risk of the sadness when I leave, when it happens. I am actually glad about that because, as my girlfriends here will all tell you, I have decided I have the biggest crush on this sweet guy and I am totally enjoying our flirting and the relationship we have started to build just in this past week or so.
After work today, I walked in the rain down to meet my friend Caro. I just love her and she is one of my only local friends. We’ve been friends a few years try to connect if we can every week. She’s been a bit stressed and wanting to talk about it and of course, I’ve been kind of sad and blah too so it was a nice chance to just connect. We had a few drinks, both of us cried, held hands, and laughed. Later we laughed and decided that the servers must have thought we were a couple going through something! LOL
It was a lovely relaxed evening. At the end, I grabbed a pizza from a place near the bar, and Caro dropped me off at home with it. My flatmate was there listening to 80’s love pop songs on YouTube, so we spent the rest of the evening rocking out and eating pizza!
Today I headed off on another adventure. I used to live in Costa Rica and I headed back there to hang out with some friends. My friends live on the western Pacific coast and it was a bit challenging to book my tickets there this time. So I ended up spending the night in San Jose. The hotel I was in was lovely and filled with beautiful art and there was a nice tapas bar out in front of the place.
I went there and enjoyed a slow tapas meal and a few too many drinks! As the night wore on there were more people and even live music set up. The food was delicious, the wine great and I headed back early to sleep it all off and be able to fly in the morning!
Up and out early to go meet my friends in Liberia. The couple I am staying with are such sweet friends. They are an older couple, and both kind of play a Mom/Pop role in my life. I enjoy them so much! I needed this. I needed some loving. I needed a super comfortable North American bed, good food, and hanging with people I love. I felt better almost instantly!
After a relaxing afternoon nap, we headed out to dinner. I got to catch up with another long lost Costa Rica friend and meet new lovely people, plus eat delicious seafood! Then later we went to a local bar, (new since I lived here) and I saw a bunch of people I haven’t seen in the 2.5 years since I visited last.
There was laughing and dancing. Let me tell you, these retirees are living their best life! As I sat there, gin tonic in hand, watching, I was kind of in awe. Here there are, most of them in their 60’s and 70’s, drinking, wandering around socializing with friends and dancing their little asses off. Every one of them made a conscious choice to move to a new country and forge a new life here in their “Gold Years.” I think that is pretty great!
It is super tropical rainy season right now and one of the most intense beginnings of the rainy season to happen in years. So on Sunday, we were supposed to go to a pool party as a going away for some other friends, but instead, it ended up a stay in jammies and relax day.
We drank coffee with espresso flavored liquor, ate pot brownies, listened to music and talked about life It was such a lovely relaxed day. I really enjoyed it. It was the perfect ending to the week.
- 2 countries
- 2 different cities in Costa Rica
- Happy Poly Moment with Stefan
- Interesting relationship discussion with Juan
- Lots of loving with my friends here in Guanacaste Costa Rica
- 1 weird meetup
- Met 1 nice journalist- potentially a new friend
- Hung out with my friend for a drink
This week was actually quite lovely in the end. It still felt a little difficult in Medellin, but I made myself get out and do some more things which always helps. I am really enjoying my flirtation turning into a relationship with Juan. He is a really sweet guy who is also very good looking. He ticks a lot of boxes!
I have still been texting with Alex quite a bit. I’ve been letting him make the effort and come to me because I just wasn’t sure if I was the one in hot pursuit or if he actually liked me too. He’s certainly been making an effort so that has been telling. On Friday, one week from our second date, he made it a point to tell me that he hadn’t seen me in 8 days and that he missed me. That was pretty sweet!
Overall- a nice week.
In case you want to read something a little sexier- here is an older post for your enjoyment! A story of a woman and her date in Medellin!
Check out the many wonderful stories on the Wicked Wednesday page this week! You won’t be disappointed!