Tom/Tino- I don’t know exactly. He is apparently a PHD student from Nigeria studying in KL. (Totally breaking my normal “code” that I won’t post pics of these guys but…. You’ll see!)
There are lessons to be learned here ladies- and it’s not about “judging a book by its cover” because let’s face it… this is Tinder we’re talking about- and isn’t “the cover” what it’s all about, at least at first?
I swiped right on “Tom”…. I mean wouldn’t you?
We chatted a bit, he wanted to talk on the phone the first night but UGH who has time for all that… so I put him off and we chat in Tinder on and off.. He seemed nice enough but still there was something…
He asked where my hotel was, I didn’t tell him. He asked if I was traveling alone, I said I was with friends.
When I agreed to meet him, I had him meet me while I was with a friend (I am not traveling with her but she was in town too.) I told her that I wasn’t sure if he was just flirty or slimy…
He shows up at the mall where we had dinner… and uhh… yeah so NOT the guy in the photo!
Because I was with my girlfriend, I didn’t get too freaked out, mostly we just kept giggling like school girls and making faces at each other behind his back! We ended up going to a coffee shop, and he WAS kind enough to buy us BOTH a coffee (we were going to go for a drink, but I am 100% sure he could tell we were like… uhm no… so when we suggested just a quick coffee… of course he agreed.)
We had our coffees, she left (making me promise to text her when I was home safe!), I left like 5 minutes later… Sorry gotta go! And he didn’t even wait to see if I got into the Uber ok!
So- ok it was a BAD Tinder date! I don’t have that many of those… But the lesson here is about trusting your red flags! All along I kind of had a “feeling” but I decided to ignore them and go out with him anyway.
On the way home in the Uber, I was texting with my BFF… now you know she gave me the “what for” about this…
BFF: Girl. You need to listen to your gut! Discernment is real! Seriously fucked up people out here among us.
ME: So true! Thanks for the reminder!
BFF: An inkling that something is wrong has to be enough especially when you’re not us to listening to your inner voices because you were trained to be nice all the damn time!
Remember ladies! Listen to your inner voice!
(Now here’s where your BFF comes in Super Extra Handy!)
BFF: Once again you and me are Yin and Yang. LOL Me: uhmmmm you sound weird. That pic is off – BYE! You: uhmmmm you sound weird. That pic is off – Maybe you’re really a nice guy who’s having an off day.
Red Flag: No one has a day so off that their whole appearance changes! LOL
Ladies! Whether you Tinder while you travel or Tinder at home… always trust your red flags. If is OK to say no! It’s ok to “hurt his feelings!” You do not know him and he does not know you! (Even if you did- it’s still ok since it could keep you safe!)
Public Service Announcement- Complete!
Have you ever had a “catfish” date? Or have you had a situation where you should have trusted your red flags but didn’t?